


Empty meaning

by somebodysomeplace1



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Eddie Diaz Takes Care of Evan "Buck" Buckley, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt Evan "Buck" Buckley, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27018688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somebodysomeplace1/pseuds/somebodysomeplace1
Summary: “I love you.”The words take Buck by surprise. Mainly because he never thought that he would hear those words, coming from someone who is so special to him. Who he deeply adores and cherishes in ever part of his body, engraving and harvesting his love for them too, in every possible crevice- part- of his body.orA story about how Eddie is the first to say that he loves Buck.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 194





	Empty meaning

“I love you.”

The words take Buck by surprise. Mainly because he never thought that he would hear those words, coming from someone who is so special to him. Who he deeply adores and cherishes in ever part of his body, engraving and harvesting his love for them too, in every possible crevice- part- of his body.

The word ‘love’ has been an empty meaning to him; at least it has been when told to him.

Growing up, his parents were pretty distant. Of course they fed him, cared for him like they do every child, and was happy for him, but the words ‘I love you’ always seemed to get caught on the end of their tongues. Not making it past the grittiness, bitterness, of their teeth. But even though they never said it, he’d always carried on, as though they have. Knowing that even though his parents never told him that they loved him out loud, they did.

The only person who he knows meant it, and still means it when they say that they love him is Maddie. She never shied away from the words. Always telling him when she wanted to. Although, she never really had to think about it. Not because she didn’t mean it, or that it was a lie. It was because it is a habit. Something that she does, because she knows that she doesn’t have to think about how much she loves or adores him, she already knows that she does; and always will.

He has had a rough patch in the dating realm over the past couple of years. He has loved people. Wanting to be around them at almost every second of the day, craving their presence. But somehow, sometime, they always end up slipping away. The one thing that always devastates him though is not how they end up breaking it off or the way that they would distance themselves. It was when they would tell him that they love him, and every single time that they would, they would always leave. To him, it’s heart-shattering. How can someone that you were once so deeply in love with, tell you that they love you at one point, and the next, they are gone. As though that meant nothing; as though he meant nothing.

Hearing that he is loved makes him feel many things, but two things more than the others. On one hand, he feels warm. Every part of his body becoming hot as it starts to have his blood rising, in a good way. But there’s also the other part of him, that knows that ‘love’ is just another word with an empty meaning.

“You love me?”

The shakiness in his voice is heard for miles in the dark room around them. But the sound of a soft chuckle that escapes the other man’s lips in front of him fills the empty space.

“Is that really a question.”

Buck doesn’t know how to answer the question; the words getting caught on the edge of his tongue. Not wanting to spill his thoughts out to him. Instead he sits up on the bed, crossing his legs as he faces him.

Eddie eyes follow the motion, furrowing his eyebrows at the sudden change in position. But after a beat, he mirrors his actions.

Sensing the uncertainty in Buck’s eyes, he speaks up; this time, firmly. “I love you, Evan.”

Buck doesn’t know when he started crying, but he can feel tears running down his cheek; the warmness of them soothing him. He doesn’t know when he started crying, but he can track the exact moment when Eddie places his soft hands on him. And the gentle way that he would caress his cheeks as he would wipe at the tears.

“Talk to me.” Eddie whispers “I wanna hear.”

Buck looks up at him, eyes rimmed red with tears.

“You say you love me, but do you actually?” Buck starts “I mean people can say that they love someone, but they can lie; people lie sometimes, Eddie.”

Eddie stares back at him blankly, still caressing Buck’s cheek. “Buck.” he replies “There a few things that I lie about in life, but I would never, in a million years even if I were mad at you or you were half way across the world, ever lie about how much I love you. Wouldn’t even think about it.”

The blurriness starts to fill his vision, making it hard to see.

“I just don’t want these to be empty words.” Buck whispers

Eddie nods his head. “I can assure you that they are not.” he says, assuring him with every word

Buck starts to lean his head against Eddie’s chest, it falling in the middle of him. He starts to feel Eddie’s hands once again, making their way through his curls as he places small kisses on his hair.

Still looking down, staring down at his hands placed in his laps, he says that he ‘loves him too’,

He can’t bare to look Eddie in the eyes, knowing that this could just be empty words. Not knowing if he will stay, or just leave like they always do. But Eddie is different Buck supposes. He knows that Eddie means what he says; always has. So maybe love is an empty word, but he knows when the words leave Eddie’s lips, he wouldn’t dare let them be. 

“Plus.” Eddie says as he places his hand under Buck’s chin, lifting it up so he is staring back at him “What would be the point in using a word that holds such great meaning, to only end up being empty anyway?”

Buck looks up at him and studies his words. But this time when he stares at him, he truly starts to realize that Eddie’s words aren’t emptiness.

Instead it is a journey, waiting for them both to explore; together.


End file.
